ZIZZY’s blog

There was a time long ago when things were very different - Jared was fat and people actually paid for porn (I know, it’s absurd). Interestingly enough, those just happen to be related. Before he became famous for having huge pants, Jared had another job - renting porn to other students at his college. He had a large collection of pornography tapes, and would rent them to anyone who needed something to watch while they…studied. While now paying even a single dollar seems a bit much, back then his dollar a day rate brought people from all over. As long as they remembered to “Be Kind, Rewind,” and “Aim, don’t leave a stain,” everything was fine.

So what led him to abandon his honest pornography business for a life of lies about losing weight by eating a lot? Subway just happened to open up right under his dorm, and so then not only did he have a massive porn collection at his disposal, but his favorite thing, food, right where he lived. One thing led to another, and now his life is completely different. The moral of this story: Watch a lot of porn and don’t bother going anywhere, because good things (if that’s what it can be called) will come to you.